Elon University – Commencement Speech

Dear Readers, 
I had the great honor to be the commencement speaker at Elon University on May 22. I share the address with you below.

Good morning.

President Book, university deans, faculty members, administration, parents, friends, and last but not least, the class of 2026. It is truly an honor to have been asked to be the commencement speaker at this 136thgraduation ceremony at Elon University.

Graduating seniors, on Wednesday I was flying from LaGuardia to Greensboro. Reading the New York Times, I was shocked to come across a giant headline on the Opinion Page: “Why College Grads Are Booing Their Commencement Speakers.”

WHAT? I gasped and then read the Op-ed and let me tell you: I, too, would have booed. So, you can relax today.

Elon University has been your home for the last four years, and your graduation today is the culmination of your commitment to study. You have been part of a university that has continued to progress during your time here—from nationally recognized undergraduate teaching, to the growth of STEM, to a College of Engineering and Computing, and to programs like Odyssey that expand opportunity for first generation students.

I ask you to think back four years ago when you matriculated in the late summer of 2022. You will remember that each of you, as a freshman, was given an acorn. On Tuesday, at your Baccalaureate ceremony, you received an oak sapling. That sapling represents you today, and it is up to you to grow your sapling—yourself— into a mighty oak.

Mighty oaks are not created overnight—they build their strength, their sustainability, and their beauty by weathering sometimes fierce storms, as well as by soaking up the sunshine.

I’d like to share with you a picture. This was taken about a week ago. It’s our son standing next to the oak tree that was his sapling ten years ago. Not yet a mighty oak, but well on its way. If you don’t have a place at home to plant your sapling, try to find a spot in the woods or in a park, so that it, too, can grow along with you. Let it be a talisman of sorts—to keep you company on your journey forward in life.

As you leave the safety and security of campus life, you will be greeted with both opportunities and challenges. Whatever path you choose in life—be it in the arts or science or medicine, early childhood development or archeology, social work or teaching or finance—embrace it with passion and curiosity, grit and resilience, open-mindedness and humility.

There is no magic potion, no single formula, no right or wrong way to achieve your goals. However, that doesn’t mean you have to wing it alone.

Keep in mind your own Elon mantra, one I learned from you just a few weeks ago. “What can go right?”

Let me share a story that is close to home. When our son, Jim, came home for Christmas break during his freshman year in 2012, he shared some news with us at dinner.

“Mom and Dad,” he said calmly. “When I graduate, I plan to set up my own company, streaming video games.”

There was a long silence before he continued. “I don’t want to be forty and regret that I had never tried.”

My husband, whose career path had gone directly from school to Wall Street, was speechless, so I stepped in. “He’ll only be 22,” I said. “It will be good for him to invest in his passion.”

Over his three remaining years at Elon, Jim stayed true to his dream. In his senior year, 2016, he created a company and built a business plan. Upon graduation, he worked relentlessly in our attic for a year. Then one evening at dinner he announced, “I’m doing well, but not well enough to support myself and make a living. So, I’m going to close the company down and look for a new career.”

And he did so, with success. The moral of the story? There are many paths to fulfillment, and very few are straight lines.

I hope you won’t mind if I share with you some thoughts I wish someone had shared with me when I was your age. They relate to important aspects of your life: family, community, and career.

My own path into the working world as a young adult was a far cry from yours. I was born into a religious sect that soon became a cult. At the age of seventeen, I was kicked out, having never read a newspaper, watched a tv show, been in a grocery store or made a phone call. Fearful of the world, and in my naïveté, I turned to a single sentence for guidance. “Failure is not an option.”

 What I hadn’t realized is that no one is immune from mistakes or failures. Those two words, dreaded by so many, are part of the learning process, and often result from pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. Good for you. If you choose to learn from your mistakes and failures, they can prove to be invaluable. So be willing to embrace failure. It is just another step in the direction of success.

Your diligence and hard work at Elon put you in an enviable position as you graduate and choose either to continue on with your education, or to enter the workforce. Congratulations! That said, there are always headwinds of one kind or another. During a thirteen month period when I was twenty-five and twenty-six, I was laid off three times. Each setback forced me to sharpen my skills, to seek advice, and to look forward, but not backward.

As you are building your career, be willing to find mentors. True mentors—and they come in all ages and with diverse experiences—look for ways to be of help to others. Mentoring is a beautiful two-way engagement: mentees seek guidance; mentors willingly offer their knowledge, experience, wisdom, and encouragement. And as with all good relationships, both parties benefit.  
You have a long runway ahead of you. With any luck, your first job will not be your last. Some of you may cycle through several positions or even careers before finding your true calling. Others of you may remain with one firm for many years. Regardless, remember to take something of value from every employment experience before moving on to the next one. I like to think of a career path as a circular stairway, where each success leads to a new challenge winding slowly upward toward your dreams.

In a world that seems increasingly competitive, fear can play a debilitating role. Don’t let it overpower you. Learn to convert your fear into fuel that drives you forward to success.

Pundits have a way of forecasting disaster every spring, just as college graduates step into the world. My advice is simple: ignore them. Technology will not be the ruin of us all; it opens far more doors than it closes. You are the future of the workforce and that should excite you. Ten years ago, I started a health care company for the LGBTQ community. Today, we have fifty-eight employees, the vast majority of whom are millennials and Gen Z-ers. I learn from them every day.

In closing, let me remind you that graduation is called “commencement” for a reason. It is the beginning of a new phase of your ongoing education. Seek mentors. Accept mistakes and failures as part of your growth. Lead with compassion and respect and remember that those actions apply not only to your career, but also to your engagement with your family and your community.  

And when life tests you—as inevitably it will—remember this: you are stronger than you think, more capable than you know, and far more resilient than you can imagine.

Class of 2026, the world does not need perfection from you. It needs courage. It needs integrity. It needs people willing to learn, adapt, and move forward even when the path is uncertain. It needs people with a moral compass, and people who are willing to give back.

So plant your roots deeply. Weather the storms. Turn fear into fuel. Reach toward the light. In time, may each of you grow into the mighty oak you were meant to become.

And throughout your life’s journey, remember your mantra: What can go right?

Congratulations, and thank you.